Placebo
by tf6Le83x
Summary: The power of the mind works both ways. Completely pointless, possibly mildly humorous dialogue exercise, BM/WW.
1. Chapter 1

Last edited on March 14, 2009, 00:59 (GMT)

**Title:** Placebo

**Rating:** K+ (to be safe, though I doubt a lot of children under 9 will read this)

**Summary:** The power of the mind works both ways. Completely pointless, possibly mildly humorous dialogue exercise, BM/WW.

**Word count:** 1400ish

**Notes:** As you may note, this is more or less a solid wall of dialogue with not a great deal of action in it. It is intentional. After _Stay_, I realized that dialogue was definitely my weak point (apart from plot), so I forced myself to write this. A lot of it is redundant, I know. The result of me trying to cram as much dialogue into an as small space as possible. What little plot there is was more or less stolen and adapted from the Batman & Robin movie (awful movie, by the way. The things we do when bored...), and I vaguely remember reading something similar here. If I stole something obvious without remembering, my apologies. BM/WW, again because it gave me a lot of dialogue options without having to think of something original.

**Disclaimer:** All characters are owned by DC comics, I am not making a profit from this story, and I'm a fluffy pink bunny. Come on, who reads these things anyway?

* * *

There were precious few moments for relaxation as a member of the Justice League. There always seemed to be some trouble brewing on the horizon, and when you found yourself with a moment to spare, you made the most of it. And so it was that a small recreation room of the Watchtower was currently occupied. In a sofa along the wall, Diana of Themyscira lounged, reading a book. On a large television screen, a game of football was taking place. In a pair of chairs in front of it sat Superman and Flash. In theory at least. In practice, the speedster was in a state somewhere in between sitting and standing, gesturing widely and voicing his opinion of the game.

"Aww, come on! Get the ball! I can run faster than that!" he shouted at an arbitrary player on the screen, before relaxing back into a slightly more seated position.

Clark merely smiled at the irony. "Flash, I'm not sure that's a fair comparison."

"Figure of speech, Big Blue. I can't help if-"

What exactly Wally could not help remained a mystery as he interrupted himself with a "not again!", then sighing as the offending player either did not hear him or simply did not care about his input.

"Flash," came a growl from behind them.

In his current state of excitement, Wally nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Jesus, Bats! You almost gave me a heart attack sneaking up on me like that. How do you do that anyway?" he managed.

"Are you sure he's not a meta?" Diana asked in a low voice, having found a better source of entertainment than her book could provide.

"Not even remotely," came Clark's reply just before Batman continued.

"You're coming with me to Central City," he said.

"What? Now? Why?" Flash said with obvious confusion.

"Poison Ivy has recently established a base of operations on the outskirts of the city. A greenhouse, to be specific. I would prefer to take care of it before it becomes a problem," came the explanation.

"I thought she stuck to Gotham. How do you know?"

Without a word, Batman leaned forward slightly and gave Flash an impassive look.

"Right. You're Batman. Stupid question," Flash continued while pointedly ignoring the amused look of his friends.

Deciding to save what was left of his dignity, he cleared his throat. "So, what do you need me for then? You seem to have this covered."

The Dark Knight leaned back again and crossed his arms. "It's your city. You can think of it as professional courtesy or a request for backup if you'd like, but mostly, I just want you to distract the media when it's over."

"Not big on credit, are ya, Bats?" Flash asked.

"Many believe that I am nothing more than an urban legend to scare criminals. It's a belief I have cultured, encouraged even. What do you think?" Batman grated.

"Right, well, anyway," the Flash continued, managing to look slightly contrite, "you know I'd normally be all over this kind of thing but, the thing is, I sort of have plans. Like a date."

This earned him a glare.

"Flash, while I'm sure a date for you is a rare enough occurrence to justify allowing an eco-terrorist to operate unhindered," Batman growled, "your love life not withstanding-"

"I'll go."

It was Diana that had interrupted. There was an uncomfortable silence as Batman turned to stare at her, as if trying to gauge the merit of her offer. It lasted for several seconds before he finally spoke.

"Javelin bay. Ten minutes."

"Very well, but only because you asked so nicely," she said with just a hint of sarcasm, giving him an overly sweet smile as she rose from her seat and walked out of the room. Clark tried his best to hide a smile.

"Thanks, Di!" Flash called after her, relieved that he was off the hook. There was still one thing though...

Batman merely stared at the open door for a few more seconds after she had left. He did not even bother to turn to the speedster.

"What do you want, Flash?"

"What makes you think I want something?" Flash replied nervously, trying and failing miserably to sound innocent.

"One, you are still here despite your clear discomfort, ample time to leave and an available escape route. Two, you are currently quiet despite the fact that your mouth is not otherwise occupied. Three, you are staring at me, and I sincerely hope that I'm not your type. Start talking."

"Ah," the younger man began, "you know that I'd normally not ask, especially not you, not that there's anything wrong with that or that I don't like you but you're not exactly the kind of person you talk to about this sort of thing but I just really want everything to be perfect and since you are who you are you couldjust sortofhelpmeout andI'dreallyappreciateitand-"

As the individual words started to become indistinguishable, the Dark Knight sighed. "Flash?"

"Yes?"

"Stop talking."

"Sorry."

Rolling his eyes under the cowl, Batman continued, "Now, for the speed-impaired among us," and then carefully articulated each word, "what. Do. You. Want?"

Flash tried again. "Well, I kinda wanted to ask you a favor. About the date. I-"

"No."

"But I just-"

"No."

"You don't even-"

Flash was bright enough to stop on his own accord as Batman slowly turned to face him.

"It occurs to me," he said in a low growl, "that it would be most unfortunate if Fire was to find out about your involvement with a certain reporter. Some might even call it dangerous..."

He let the statement hang in the air as Flash paled, a sharp contrast against his costume.

"Shutting up," he managed, and with a gust of wind, he was gone.

As Batman moved to follow Flash out of the room, he paused, then closed the door. "I can feel your smirk from here, Kent."

"Bit harsh, don't you think?"

Sighing, Bruce turned to his friend. "He is dating two women at the same time, Clark. Both unaware of the other. Whatever happens is his own fault."

"Even if it would be someone else that happened to mention it? Besides, Bruce, the gossip columns seem to suggest that you are not in a position to judge him."

Bruce narrowed his eyes. "That's different and you know it. Those women know what they are getting into when they start dating Bruce Wayne. It is practically expected of him."

"Wally, on the other hand," he continued, "should know better than to throw away a good thing. I would think it difficult enough to find a woman able to stand him, let alone two. He has a choice to make."

Clark sighed. "You shouldn't underestimate him. He's still young, but he's not stupid. He can take care of himself."

"Hnn. Just don't expect me to clean up what's left of him after this blows up in his face. It will."

"Perhaps," the man of steel agreed. "But on another note, you do know that referring to yourself in third person is said to be a sign of insanity, right?"

The eyes narrowed further. "Some might say the same about a man who believes that a pair of glasses is sufficient disguise for the world's most recognized face."

Clark merely smiled back. "It has worked so far, hasn't it?" he said.

"But I should probably get going," he continued, ignoring his friend's muttered commentary on dumb luck while walking towards the door. "Good talk, but I think you've exceeded your word quota for the day by far."

Having reached the exit, he paused. "Good luck on the mission, Bruce," he said, before he opened the door and left.

Bruce could have sworn the man was still smirking.

* * *

**Closing notes:** I've got another chapter as well, mostly done but still editing. Should be up soon, but you can probably guess the outcome. As I wrote this as a dialogue exercise, obviously I would appreciate any comments you may have on that particular aspect (especially the use of surrounding information, like _he said with a smile_ etc.), no matter how brutal. Like I said, the plot is not exactly my proudest moment (and not what I'd generally like to think of as my style), and while I tried to sneak some humor in, it's not the dominating theme. Sorry if Flash came out like a stereotype comic relief.


	2. Chapter 2

Last edited on March 14, 2009, 14:14 (GMT)

**Rating:** T (very mildly sexually suggestive)

**Word count:** ~2460

**Notes:** Still a lot of redundant dialogue, but I decided to mix it up with a bit more actions. Again, the plot is not the greatest, just an excuse to write dialogue.

* * *

By the time he arrived at the docking bay, Diana was already waiting by one of the Javelins. She gave him a smile as he approached the craft. This did not bode well.

"Ready to go?" she asked and motioned towards the ramp.

He grunted an affirmative in reply and walked up the ramp, the Amazon following just a few steps behind. She took the seat next to him as he strapped himself to the pilot seat of the shuttle. In silence he made a quick check of the Javelin's systems. Satisfied that it was operational, he made the necessary authorization requests for the shuttle launch. Once the craft had left the depressurized bay, Diana broke the silence.

"So tell me, what did you really want Wally for?"

He gave her a quick glance before replying. "Like I told him, I'd rather not draw more attention to myself than necessary."

"Mhmm," she hummed and arched an eyebrow. "You do realize of course that I brought my lasso."

"You wouldn't-" he started as he gave her an incredulous look. When he saw her expression, he sighed and continued.

"Alright fine. Ivy may have acquired help, or so my intel would suggest. The others were busy," he added, referring to his extended family. "I could have done it on my own, but I didn't want to risk her getting away."

"There, was that so hard?" she asked. "Alas, I fear you are stuck with me now that Wally is occupied. I hope you don't mind..." she continued with an exaggerated regretful tone.

He gave her a small smirk. "I think I'll live. Wally is not a view I would cherish to help make time pass while waiting for the the right time to strike."

Dammit, did he just say that? He tried willing the craft to descend faster to spare him the rest of this conversation, while fervently hoping she had not picked up on that slip. As it turned out, he would have no such luck however.

"Is that so?" she said with a sly smile. "Shall I take it that you find me a more pleasing 'view'?"

Clouds covered the view port briefly before the North American continent came into view.

She leaned in towards him and lowered her voice. "Well then, perhaps I should volunteer for more missions with you in the future."

_Almost there_.

Her voice was almost a whisper now. "Anything I can do to... help."

This was getting dangerous, he realized as her tone caused him to swallow. Time to focus on the task at hand, get his mind back on business. He was saved by the bell.

"We're here," he stated.

-

Having landed the Javelin a safe distance from their target, the pair made their way through the Central City suburbs towards the greenhouse. It was a business area, most of the buildings around them factories or small businesses, mostly car repairs and the like. It was late enough in the evening for most shops to be closed for the night and the area was devoid of people. They found a factory building near the greenhouse and took a spot on the roof overlooking the immediate area. There, they settled down to wait for Ivy to show as the evening turned to night and the last lights of day faded on the horizon.

"Tell me again why we're up here and waiting," Diana asked with a hint of impatience.

"She's not here yet. An important step in capturing a dangerous criminal is generally to ensure that the aforementioned dangerous criminal is available for capture," he said.

She rolled her eyes at him before responding. "Well thank you, Bruce. I don't know what we would do without your invaluable tactical advice."

She sighed and continued, "what I meant was, if she is not here, why are we not out there," she gestured towards the city, "finding her?"

"Because, Princess," he said, still not looking her way, "we don't know where she is or when, where or if she will strike. But we do know where she will end up. So we wait and let her come to us."

"Oh. Well, I still don't like it."

"Patience, Princess," he said with the hint of a smile.

She smiled back. "I'm getting the distinct feeling of a deja vu here."

This was getting out of hand again. Why did she always have this effect on him? He decided to simply remain quiet. Realizing he would not reply, she started to quietly hum _Am I Blue?_, trying to get a reaction. He refused.

She finally seemed to accept his decision, and for half an hour nothing more was said. Just as Bruce was starting to think that he would get through the night unscathed and with his pride intact, she spoke up.

"So, Wally on a date, huh?" she baited.

"Yes," he said, taking the bait before thinking.

"Guess all of his flirting finally paid off," she continued.

"Yes," he agreed. _Shut up!_

"Now if you would just get yourself one, it would be safe to say that all hell has frozen over."

He groaned inwardly. Why could he not just have left well enough alone.

"I go on dates all the time," he tried to defend himself, instantly regretting it.

She snorted. "Oh sure, if you call that a date. I meant a real date. You know, with someone special," she said, emphasizing the last two words.

"Princess, we've been over this before."

"Oh yes, I remember quite clearly how well that went," she replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm, "a shame it appears there is no gargoyle around to prove my point this time."

He muttered something she couldn't make out.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Bruce, lasso," she pointed out.

He gave her a glare as he muttered, "I said that considering what happened next, you didn't quite 'prove your point'."

She glared back with narrowed eyes. "Oh really? Well, this time, Circe is not going to-"

He suddenly tensed and held up a hand to make her stop as he intently studied something across the street. "She's here," he said in a low voice.

Diana crouched down and looked up towards the sky for a moment as if asking why the gods felt it fit to have a laugh at her expense. Not a chance she would let him off that easy. Again.

She leaned towards him and hissed, "this is not over, Bruce Wayne."

-

They quietly made their way through the large greenhouse, the air warm and humid. Multicoloured plants, most of which probably did not even have a name, surrounded them on all sides. It could have been the middle of a jungle. An alien jungle. The plants seemed to move as if watching them, a feeling made all the more unnerving by the fact that the air within the building was completely still.

"When did you say she built this?" Diana asked in an amazed whisper as she followed behind Batman, deeper into the vegetation.

"A few days ago," he murmured back, "the kind of plants she grows are not exactly of the garden variety."

"So how do we do this?" she whispered.

"Hopefully the element of surprise will be enough. She is definitely not counting on you being here. With any luck, it will be over quickly."

They walked on, carefully avoiding contact with the local flora, until they reached a dead end. It could only be described as a clearing. In it were the only traces of civilization they had seen since entering; what looked like a small laboratory. Three metal tables stood there, various chemical equipment and unknown liquids in glass flasks scattered on top of them.

Just as he carefully started to examine the area, a voice spoke behind them.

"Ah, I see I have visitors. Did you miss me so terribly in Gotham that you simply had to come find me?"

The vegetation seemed to melt away to reveal the former Dr. Pamela Isley. "I would be flattered, but the effect is lessened somewhat seeing how you brought a girlfriend," she pouted.

"But since I know I have neglected you recently, all is forgiven," she continued with a smile and spread her arms in invitation. "Come here and give us a kiss..."

Diana had had enough by now. "Ivy, make this easy for yourself and give up."

"So she speaks," Ivy said, making a show of ignoring Diana. She then turned to face the Amazon.

"No reason to be upset, my dear, I might be willing to share."

The glare Diana gave the other woman in return would have made the Dark Knight proud, had he seen it.

"Enough, Ivy," Batman growled. "Whatever you are up to ends now. You're coming with me back to Arkham where you belong."

"As lovely as a tiny stone cell sounds," Ivy said, dropping the seductive act, "I'm afraid I have other plans for the next four hundred years, or whatever my sentence is up to now."

"It is _so_ hard to get good help these days," Ivy continued. For a moment, nothing happened. Then suddenly, the plants around them started twisting and tangle, forming several vaguely humanoid shapes as they detached from the surrounding green. "So I decided to make my own. You like?"

"Get Ivy," Batman barked as he pulled out a pair of sharp blades and engaged the creatures that had started slowly moving towards them, "I'll deal with these things."

As Diana moved in on Ivy who backed away from the advancing Amazon, vines erupted from the plants like tentacles and wrapped themselves around her. Unfazed, she spread her arms and ripped them apart with relative ease.

"Give up, Ivy. I will not ask you again," she said as she reached down and tore loose the vines around her legs.

With eyes widened in surprised, Ivy continued to move backwards. As Diana reached out to grab her, Ivy's hands flew to the table behind her. Before Diana could react, Ivy had already mostly emptied the content of a pink bottle in her face. Blinded, she stumbled back from the other woman while rubbing her eyes.

Meanwhile, Batman had all but diced the plant creatures in his attempts to stop them as he noticed what happened to his partner. He was unable to assist as Diana tried to regain her sight. Seeing her chance, Ivy made a quick escape through the vegetation that closed up to form a solid wall behind her. Almost immediately, what was left of the creatures fell apart into piles of leaves, vines and branches.

Had it been anyone else, he would have started the lecture about letting the objective get away by now. But there were more pressing matters at hand.

"Diana," he asked, grasping her shoulders, "are you alright?"

She calmed down realizing there was no immediate danger, still trying to regain the use of her eyes. He noted the bottle on the floor. He noted the colour.

"Diana, listen to me. You have been exposed to what looks like one of Ivy's pheromones."

She looked up at him, her eyes red from the chemical and the rubbing. Her expression was one of mild confusion.

"I need you to remain in control until it is out of your system. With your inherent healing and tolerance, it should not take long," he continued.

Her expression changed into something unreadable, her breathing fast and shallow. He was starting to get nervous and pulled back from her as if burned.

"Deep breaths. Stay calm, Princess."

She was not listening. Her expression changed again. It was the kind of expression you would expect to see on a lion that had just spotted a wounded gazelle. He took a step back. She took a step forward.

"You can fight it, don't do this."

She was breathing quicker now, almost panting. He saw her skin was covered in moisture as a result of the near-tropical environment. It was not helping. He continued his retreat, she followed with a sway. He came to a stop as the back of his thighs hit one of the tables.

She turned her head slightly and ran a hand down her exposed neck. As the hand continued down her body and her eyes closed, he felt his resolve weaken. Like so many times before, he noted how absolutely perfect she was. She was difficult enough to resist under normal conditions. Like this, it was all but impossible.

He had to be stronger than this. She was drugged, not in control of her actions, and he would not take advantage of her like this. He could do this. It was not as if he had inhaled any of the pheromones. The gas would have long since dispersed.

Except, he remembered, it was not a gas. It was vapor. It did not dissipate as quickly, especially not in still air. It would still hang heavy in the immediate area, clinging to Diana even. There would have been plenty in the air he had breathed. Which meant...

_Dammit._

She was close now. There was no escape. Perhaps he could stop her, but not without hurting her, and that was an option he refused to consider. Not that it was a likely concern. More likely, he would be the one getting hurt. With her strength, she was more than capable, and in the state she was in, there was no telling how far she would go.

"Please don't," he tried, desperately trying to hold on to the last shreds of self control he still possessed as she reached out and placed her right hand on his chest. Her left found its way behind his neck. She then half pulled him towards her, half pressed herself up against him, all the while making a sound somewhere between a moan and a purr.

Over the course of his career, he had exposed himself to all manners of mental and physical torture. He had willingly taken drugs and toxins. This included Poison Ivy's 'love potions'. All in order to prepare him for when it happened for real. In all his training however, none of it had included the presence of an Amazon princess. A very willing Amazon princess.

What willpower he had left crumbled as her lips touched his.

-

Elsewhere, a few hours later, Ivy had found an abandoned farmhouse somewhere between Central City and Gotham. While she realized that it was not yet safe to stop, she was too tired to continue on foot. With any luck, the Bat would not find her here. She had made sure to cover her tracks well.

It had been close, she knew that. She still could not believe that it had been that easy, or even that it had worked at all. She had lost her greenhouse and all the equipment of course, but it was a relatively small price to pay for her continued freedom. When most of what you needed literally did grow on trees (or an appropriate class of flora, as the case may be), replacing the losses would not be a problem. The rest was easy enough to acquire in the modern world.

_Still_, she thought as she laid down to rest, _shame about my favorite perfume_.

* * *

**Closing notes:** The not-so-surprising twist, given the title. I decided to leave the exact level of 'influence' on Diana ambiguous. After _Stay,_ I suppose she deserved to be the aggressor. Again, plot is not so important, but any technical writing advice would be much appreciated. I'd like to think of all of you as beta readers, but is sort of relies on your participation.


End file.
